The Joy of Being a Daughter of God

When I was gently led by a Shepherd to make a decision about becoming a Dominican Volunteer in Zambia for this year – I didn’t know what I was in for – it was as if Jesus was standing on the water reaching His hand out to me asking me to just trust Him. As I approach the ending of my first two months, Jesus is daily standing on the water, asking me to just trust Him.

When I first arrived in Ndola, Zambia on August 23 – I was overwhelmed with the beauty of the land and the people.  My heart was instantly touched and broken.  At the conclusion of my first full day in Zambia, my journey entry had ended with, “I am surely an International Transfer – yet I feel almost at home here in Mother Africa’s precious daughter Zambia.” I am blessed to be know that it is okay to feel strange in any place – because we weren’t created for this world. Everywhere I go – even at home – I feel slightly like a stranger - because this world is truly not my home and my heart is made for heaven.

The first mission I visited was St. Anthony’s Children Home. The children run up to me and hug me – climb on me – touch me – try to rub my skin – play with my hair – look into my eyes – hold tightly to me as if they never want to let go. After praising God for the beautiful creation of children…I wondered…what if everyone held onto God like an orphan holds onto a new friend? What if...as children of God we clung to Him desperately for His Love? God was being serious when He spoke through Jesus and said care for His orphans – orphans without an earthly family but also spiritual orphans – those who don’t know their Father in heaven.

After my second day of being here, I wrote a journal entry on how badly I wanted to learn to speak Bemba. I quickly learned how difficult it is to communicate love through gestures – especially when barriers between cultures exist. With time, through generous help of the Sisters, interaction with patients and neighbors, lessons at Barefoot School, and time spent with books – by the grace of God I am slowly catching onto Bemba. And when I don’t know what to say – I usually toss out one of the religious phrases I have learned in Bemba, for example, “Umutima Wandi Uletasha Lesa” (My heart rejoices in God) and at least this always brings about laughs and smiles.

I was once asked me why I was spending my time trying to learn Bemba – when the Copperbelt Province is the only place in the world where people speak Bemba. Why do I want to learn to speak Bemba? Because I love people – and I love these people – and this place is my home for one year – would I ever want to live anywhere in my life for one year where people didn’t speak the language? No – why would I do it here? The patients, the children, the Sisters – everyone is connected through Bemba in this area – and they all know English – why wouldn’t I try to learn Bemba? I am enjoying learning and many people seem appreciative someone is interested in their language and culture. People want to be known – people want to be remembered – people want to know they’re important – people want to know they are loved – those principles are the same back in the United States and here in Zambia.

As I have shifted between different departments and attend to the areas where help is most needed at KAVU Health Clinic – I am learning the importance of openness to being a continual “learner.” There is no stage in our lives where we will ever stop learning – I have learned so much about God, faith, people, cultures, Zambian health care in the past two months. I am so grateful for everything I have learned and everyone I have met.

I have often wondered if visitors from foreign countries are always a good thing. Is it good just to visit orphans for a day, a week, a month and then leave? Is it good for volunteers to come for a week to work in a clinic? This is a question I have personally struggled with in thinking of my decision to come here for a year. What will happen when I leave?

Then I ponder the problems lies in the question itself – because it isn’t really “ME” at all that is here – anything good that comes from me – is God and He will always be here with the children, with the Sisters, and at the clinic. In the same way that people have passed in and out, come and gone from my own life – God remains the same and the impression and impact from people will have lasting meaning our life. It may not even be the length of time that matters that we spend with someone, in a place or in a work – it’s what we put in and what we let ourselves receive. If I had to leave Zambia today for whatever reason – I would return to the USA never being the same – and it’s only been two months. I’ve spent two months in a place that has permanently changed my life – my heart – my perspective – and has given hope to my soul. In the same way – I hope that whatever God is trying to accomplish through my feeble self – that He is doing – I just need to trust that He is control and He’s agenda is far more important and crucial then my own.